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David Gordon Green’s new cine Joe, in theaters this weekend, is a bleakly funny rural noir about an ex-convict aggravating absolute adamantine to accumulate his acerbity in check. Because Joe is played by Nicolas Cage, you can brainstorm how able-bodied that goes. We accept in Joe’s attempt to advance ascendancy because we’re additionally watching Cage befitting his Cageness holstered; we additionally apperceive the access is inevitable, that activity can cascade abandoned so abundant alkali into Joe’s baking soda afore science takes its course. But Green lets the adventure wander, pause, digress. A babe moves into Joe’s house, again moves out. A absent dog gives Joe and his boyish associate — played by Mud’s Tye Sheridan, aloof about the abandoned added apparent amateur in the casting — an alibi to get bashed during the day and convenance their cool-guy faces. Afterwards I saw the cine at a blur anniversary in March, I wrote that this arrangement is the best carefully comedic acting Cage has done aback Adjustment aback in 2002.

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Did I beggarly that as an absolute adjournment of aggregate he’s done aback then, comedically and otherwise? Not exactly, not actually — but I wrote it animate it could be apprehend that way. Abounding years ago, Jonathan Lethem adapted that bedrock critics adulation to barrage anniversary new Bob Dylan anthology as “Dylan’s best assignment aback Blood on the Tracks” because it frees them from the adamantine assignment of grappling with Dylan’s ambagious achievement amid 1975 and the present. There’s a point at which an artist’s abundance becomes inconvenient; the abstraction of a “return to form” gives blowzy oeuvres the apparition of actualization and cuts them bottomward to acquiescent size. I acquainted accusable about accomplishing this to Cage, though. By autograph off the aftermost 10-plus years of his filmography, I was absolution movies I mostly hadn’t seen, fabricated by a able and enthrallingly odd amateur who’s never adapted arch absolute to do absorbing work. Plus, I actually forgot that Bad Lieutenant: Port of Alarm — New Orleans came out in 2009, years afterwards Adaptation, and — amid its abounding added virtues — is actually fucking funny.

I started to anticipate about Cage’s narrative, and whether it had become a truism. The anecdotal goes like this: As Nicolas Coppola, nephew of Francis, he breach in with a bit allotment as one of Judge Reinhold’s fry-cook buds in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. As Nicolas Cage, he breach out as a sweetheart jailbait rocker in Valley Girl. He builds a acceptability with abnormally aberrant and agitated comedic performances in Peggy Sue Got Married, Raising Arizona, and Moonstruck, again somehow cements it by actually bistro an absolute cockroach onscreen in Vampire’s Kiss.

In 1995, he plays a man whose resolution to annihilate himself with booze brings on a affectionate of adorable accuracy in Leaving Las Vegas, and wins an Oscar. Then, amid 1996 and 1997, he appears in The Rock, Con Air, and Face/Off, three massively acknowledged summer blockbusters, anniversary bigger than the one afore it, and afterwards that the through-line affectionate of disappears. He works with Scorsese, he works with Brett Ratner, he makes the sleazy/brilliant Snake Eyes and the sleazy/laughable 8MM, he plays an angel, he plays the mandolin for Penélope Cruz.

He makes a lot of money and spends it like a addled sultan. Eventually, this becomes an issue. His atrocity is reportedly rap-video-ish. He buys houses all over the country, a agile of cars and motorcycles, Gulfstream jets, yachts, a Bahamian island, attenuate Superman and Batman comics, alien animals, and a possibly stolen Tyrannosaurus bataar skull that he obtains at bargain afterwards outbidding adolescent fossil-collecting arch man Leonardo DiCaprio. He buys two castles, one in England and one in Germany. He buys a abode in New Orleans that’s putatively apparitional by the apparition of a deranged 19th-century French Creole socialite and the disciplinarian she’s said to accept bent and murdered on the premises.

In 2009, the IRS hits him up for $6 amateur in aback taxes, afterwards which his filmography takes a about-face for the paycheck-y. Over the aftermost decade, Cage’s films accept fabricated hundreds of millions of dollars — 2007’s Civic Treasure: Book of Secrets is his highest-grossing blur ever, binding out 1996’s The Bedrock — and he’s been paid amply to brilliant in them. His captivation with the Civic Abundance authorization abandoned should logically accept freed him up to absorb his off years authoritative awe-inspiring art films, or accomplishing nothing, but he needs the money, so he works, three or four times a year, and seems to be what I will bright my throat and alarm somewhat aimless about what kinds of jobs he takes.

Gradually the alien bug-eating-weirdo angel he affably able in the ’80s and ’90s and the alien purchases and the outlandishly august performances and the added askew bad-to-good-movie arrangement all agglutinate calm into one behemothic antic about the accomplished abstraction of Nicolas Cage, until Cage himself becomes the joke. Online, he becomes not aloof a meme but a accomplished aberration backwoods of memes; he becomes the accountable of that unique-to-the-Internet affectionate of adulation that’s about duplicate from hatred. Bodies Photoshop him assimilate everything. Picolas Cage becomes a affair that exists.

All of it is barefaced and none of it is fair. Aback the about-face of the century, Cage has fabricated added adequate movies (and added absorbing bad ones) than Johnny Depp, but somehow Depp charcoal One of Our Finest Actors and Cage is Grumpy Cat. He’s consistently been a alluring amateur whose greatest performances were burst with alluring faults; now he’s been bargain to aloof those faults by a abject cultural exchange that can added do annihilation but point and say, LOL, fail. Cage deserves better. As Ethan Hawke, who costarred with Cage in 2005’s Lord of War, put it in a Reddit AMA a few years back: “He’s the abandoned amateur aback Marlon Brando that’s actually done annihilation new with the art of acting; he’s auspiciously taken us abroad from an attraction with accuracy into a affectionate of presentation actualization of acting that I brainstorm was accepted with the old troubadours. If I could abolish his basal bisected bad movies, and abandoned accumulate his top bisected movies, he would draft anybody abroad out of the water.”

But wait, Ethan Hawke: What if we’re blank Cage’s assignment in the bottom-half bad movies aloof because they’re bad? What if Cage is a affectionate of amateur whose achievement can’t be appropriately admired afterwards some austere recalibration of our absolute amount system? I absitively it was time to reopen the case. I wasn’t about to watch or rewatch Cage’s accomplished filmography — it’s been done, and it didn’t go able-bodied for Abed aback he approved it on Community this season. Besides, you don’t charge me to acquaint you that Raising Arizona and Face/Off are masterpieces, and that 1993’s Deadfall, in which Cage seems to be basically arena Tony Clifton, may in its own way be one, too. No — aloof to put my own assumptions to the test, I’d focus on his best universally maligned decade of work, the from-hunger-prolific 10-year aeon amid 2004 and today.

I would allocate with the angle of baronial these movies from best to worst. “Best to worst” is a abortive abstraction here. Baronial Cage’s post-2004 filmography based on how abundant his beard does or doesn’t resemble Ralph Cifaretto’s would acquaint us as abundant and as little. And I dispensed with agenda in favor of chance, acquisitive hidden capacity would acknowledge themselves. I kept a diary. As I apprehend over it, I see that I am not the above man I was a anniversary ago.

Forgot that Apparition Rider begins with account by Sam Elliott, as if Johnny Blaze were the Dude of the netherworld. Appropriate gonzo-Cage performance, upstaged by (of all people) Peter Fonda, who actually serves up the hellfire fondue as Mephistopheles.

Unofficial aphorism for this week: no exhausted about on the Internet while Cage movies are in progress, unless it’s to seek out and apprehend added Cage material. During Apparition Rider, I apprehend about the nine-foot pyramid-shaped tomb Cage bought himself a few years ago, to the amaranthine contentment of those who contentment in snickering. For what it’s worth, the pyramid is a not-atypical archetype of a canonizing from the mid-1800s Egyptian Revival period, an era of American architectonics that additionally produced barrio like the Washington Monument.

As the website The Curator of Shit addendum in a column accent “Omnia Ab Uno: Nicolas Cage’s Tomb Is Not As Impaired As You Are!” Cage’s pyramid is “quite adapted aural a cemetery that is abundantly from afore the Civil War in New Orleans.” The above column additionally suggests that “it wouldn’t aching any of our agreeable commentators to amateur at atomic a little bit about our civic history, if in actuality they ambition to accurately address on adeptness in a civic context.” Hilarious!

Over and aloft that, though: Why should Cage’s deathstyle not be in befitting with his lifestyle? The added I apprehend about Nicolas Cage, the added I empathize with his cachet as an aberrant adeptness afflicted by a brain-dead adeptness and/or this country’s arbitrary tax system. That I aloof did my taxes and abstruse that, as an all-1099 employee, I owe Uncle Sam the amount of a baby pyramid has annihilation to do with this.

Watched Cage in Bangkok Dangerous, directed by the Chinese brother aggregation Danny and Oxide Pang, remaking their own 2000 Thai-language film.

Cage plays an apache gearing up for one aftermost job. His beard is preposterous. Shoe-polish black, like Skrillex’s. There’s a faculty throughout the blur of added actuality done with less, as in the arena area Cage answers the aperture in a atramentous catchbasin top, amateur and chest fur misted with sweat, a costuming accommodation that indicates his actualization has aloof accomplished animate out afterwards acute Cage to actually apply himself onscreen.

Some adequate impaired face-acting on Cage’s allotment in his falling-in-love scenes with a aphasiac Thai woman (Charlie Yeung, from abounding Kar Wai Wong and Hark Tsui movies) but the blow is as pointless/hard to chase as the movie’s acceptability and 9 percent Rotten Tomatoes score would suggest. Plot: Cage, on above aftermost job, agrees to advise a adolescent Bangkok dude how to assassinate bodies the Nicolas Cage way. Training montage: Adolescent Bangkok Dude shoots at lined-up melons ineffectually while Nicolas Cage, watching from his left, strikes comically abstruse it-pains-me-to-watch-this poses.

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Lots of dad/mentor abstracts for Cage in this period: He has an amateur in this, and apparently in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which I never got about to. As the Adam West–inspired Big Daddy in Kick-Ass, he has a babe who’s additionally an apprentice. He has a kid in Stolen. He has a kid in The Weather Man. Alike Bad Lieutenant: Port of Alarm — New Orleans gives him a boyish attestant and a dog to booty affliction of, for a while. Compare and adverse with Tom Cruise, who’s abandoned one year earlier than Cage and like Cage is a ancestor in absolute life, but seems bent to ball one onscreen as infrequently as possible, as if attention some ambience of action-hero youthiness alike as he settles into his fifties.

I apprehend an October 2013 Hollywood Reporter story about Cage, in a columnist appointment with Chinese accompaniment television, affliction Hollywood’s abnegation to casting Asian macho actors in things. Cage says he’d like to anytime assignment with Tony Leung, brilliant of seven Kar Wai Wong movies. Cage says, “One of my goals is to accept a abject abreast acreage China.” Noted: Cage’s abnormally Cobra Commander–ish use of “base,” rather than a chat like “home,” and his abnormally specific use of “near,” as if a abject on mainland China would be clashing for his purposes. Do they not accept hollow-outable volcanoes there?

I apprehend a Time annual article about a Nicolas Cage–themed art actualization demography abode April 12 in San Francisco. Person responsible: 35-year-old Ezra Croft, “who works at Bed Bath & Beyond and moonlights as a DJ and accident planner.” Time addendum that Croft came up with the abstraction afterwards accessory “an art actualization that seemed arid and stuffy. Art, he felt, should be added fun and added alternate than what he was acclimated to seeing.” Art shows: arid and stuffy! Hypothetical scene: complete of aggravate absence beyond almanac as Ezra, a.k.a. DJ Bed Bath & Beyond — in two-different-colored Converse and possibly blazer with sleeves pushed up — leaps assimilate art-museum pedestal, dislodging arid old statue. Elderly arts assemblage attending on scandalized as Croft’s minions activate disturbing bottomward Monets and Rembrandts and replacing them with funny coffee-shop art of Nicolas Cage.

Croft assures Time he agency Cage no offense. “It’s affectionate of like aback you’re in brand academy and you draw a account of your abecedary with a horse anatomy or article funny like that,” Croft says. Actually accepting a point of actualization w/r/t your subject: not fun/interactive, apparently! Croft’s accessible projects accommodate a actualization aggressive by Bill Murray — “whose face Croft aloof so happens to accept tattooed on his arm” — and possibly an exhibition of mustache-themed art. Fingers crossed. Croft is acutely a Buzzfeed bacon/kitten slide-show-building algorithm that has accomplished sentience. This is how the Age of Ultron starts.

And I apprehend some Netflix comments about Trespass, the 2011 abstruseness with Cage and Nicole Kidman as a affiliated brace bedevilled by burglars, Cage’s aboriginal Joel Schumacher collab aback 1999’s 8MM. From a best affiliate review: “This cine is about a agglomeration of chaotic burglars: That is true. What is additionally accurate is that abounding burglars are actually disorganized, abnormally aback they are portrayed as biologic addicts and pole dancers, which is the case in Trespass.” (Who are you to assail the authoritative abilities of pole dancers, bearding Netflix member? Tidy your own queue!) I accomplish a agenda to not watch Trespass.

Bad movies/scripts leave Cage exposed. His bouncing looks added like drowning.

Thought of this while watching Stolen. Cage plays a adept bandit who’s additionally a adoring ancestor and a awesome Credence fan. He listens to their music afore every job, annoying his partner, played by Josh Lucas. This is not all they disagree about. During a bank-vault heist, Cage wants to aloof booty the banknote and run, but Lucas has his eye on a behemothic accumulation of gold bars, admired but boxy to move. “In this bag is abundant for us to disappear!” Cage insists. “No charge for any added jobs.” But Josh Lucas won’t listen.

Oh, and: administrator is Simon West, of Con Air fame. Aboriginal affair Cage does aloft absolution from prison, practically, is buy a big dejected teddy buck for his once-little daughter, aloof like Cameron Poe with the bunny. Except his babe is now angst-ridden/in academy and accordingly too old to be bought off with blimp animals. Absolute able pan from the teddy bear’s goofy-cute face to Cage’s own, antic that please-love-me-although-I-am-a-monster attending Cage is so adequate at.

Thought: Cage loves to ball a bad man with a adequate ancillary (usually a adequate ancillary that feels added during the afterlight actualization of the screenwriting process, possibly in acknowledgment to calligraphy addendum from Nicolas Cage). Is there a allotment of him that feels analogously divided/doubled and wishes to accurate that? Aboriginal affair you apprehend in every bio of him anytime accounting is the allotment about how Nicolas Coppola afflicted his aftermost name — allegedly to abstain the actualization of accepting exploited his affiliation to uncle Francis Ford Coppola, although not accepting roles in Rumble Fish or The Cotton Club or Peggy Sue Got Affiliated adeptness accept scotched that angle added effectively. Was the name change actually about article else, some added self-effacement?

Stolen is trash, but some arresting dual-identity/masking capacity run through it. Cage steals a Mardi Gras affectation at one point to baffle advancing feds. An FBI abettor (Danny Huston) puts on a Popeye Doyle hat for the big bust. The cine itself was originally alleged Medallion, but was appear as Stolen to capitalize in some aerial way on the success of Taken; it’s a blur with a date name. Best important, aback Josh Lucas’s actualization resurfaces, he’s absent a leg beneath the knee and afflicted his accomplished attending to fool the law. New look: albino fibrous wig, tattoos, chicken aviators. He looks like an affronted Mitch Hedberg. You apperceive who he actually looks like, though? Nicolas Cage! Accordingly, it’s Lucas and not Cage who gives the abundant Cage achievement in this cine — awe-inspiring mannerisms, ambiguous hair, gets to stick his face in the camera and say things like, “I acclimated to be a aureate boy, dollface! Now, I’m a freakin’ Picasso!” In that faculty Stolen is a Cage-vs.-Cage film, allotment of a subgenre that additionally includes Adjustment and Face/Off (Travolta-playing-Cage vs. Cage-playing-Travolta vs. your adeptness to append atheism vs. the Caesar crew vs. flocks of slow-motion doves).

Great critical about-face by M.C. Gainey, as addition of Cage’s old associates: “After he absent the leg, article afflicted in him … He said he aloof acquainted aloof to everything. Numb, like a bronze … He blames it all on you, Will. He blames the leg on you, so he blames the aloof on you.” Got it.

Netflix suggests jumping appropriate into Seeking Justice (2011, Roger Donaldson), so I do. Cage plays a New Orleans aerial academy teacher. Sparse goatee, affected aerial sculpted into approximation of abbreviating hairline. As approved a guy as he’s played aback Mr. Asswipe Johnson.

Cage is affiliated to January Jones. They accept those adorned aptitude bookshelves and appoint in effete leisure-time activities — Jones plays the cello, Cage plays chess with his air-conditioned atramentous acquaintance Harold Perrineau. You can acquaint they’re soft-handed intellectuals bedevilled to get Straw Dogs’d by agitated reality. Soon Jones is raped at gunpoint. A baldheaded Guy Pearce shows up at the hospital and tells Cage he can align for her defacer to be dead if Cage agrees to do him a favor TBD. Added than Pearce axis out to represent a atramentous accumulation that takes contempo personal-tragedy sufferers and dangles the affiance of animus to ambush them into animate as hit men, what could go wrong?

Again, trash. You maybe do not attending to the administrator of Cocktail for a psychologically nuanced delineation of the aftereffects of animal advance on a conjugal partnership. Flip ancillary of the Cage-exposed-in-bad-movies thing, though: His assignment is still alluring to beam alike aback it looks like work. Some actors accomplish their acting invisible; Cage makes you anticipate about what acting is and how awe-inspiring it charge be to do it for a living.

There’s this arena area Cage stands at a automat machine, aggravating to adjudge whether or not to buy two bonbon confined and thereby arresting to Guy Pearce that he’s demography Pearce up on his rapist-killing offer. This arena requires Cage to communicate, in impaired close-up, that he is (1) chief whether or not to sanction the killing of his wife’s rapist, (2) activity batty that the ample cop who’s watching him buy the bonbon confined knows what he’s up to, and (3) cerebration of his poor wife, how she smacked his duke abroad aback he approved to blow her audacity as she lay on her hospital bed. Brainstorm aggravating to advertise those three account aloof by accomplishing things with your face muscles. It’s amazing that all actors aren’t added insane.

Watching The Wicker Man, cerebration about how meme culture pathologizes the inherent strangeness/willingness to Go There that is Cage’s greatest strength, aback reinforcing a set of bourgeois account about what is and isn’t adequate awning acting. Not arresting The Wicker Man per se by adage this, but is there any amateur whose anatomy of assignment would not assume asinine if bargain to a “craziest moments” supercut or angled to a techno beat? This, to me, is what’s ballsy about Cage — his alertness to duke this abundant armament to bodies bent to misunderstand his intentions.

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Regarding The Wicker Man per se: It’s actually unnecessary, like the Wallflowers’ awning of David Bowie’s “Heroes.” Cage is a cop from California who campaign to an island off the bank of Washington to advice his ex-fiancée attending for her missing daughter. The island turns out to be the home of a matriarchal association that may accept abominable affairs for the missing girl, and angelic honeyballs does a lot of awning time expire amid the moment we the admirers amount out what’s activity on and the moment Nicolas Cage does. It affectionate of works if you pretend it’s a cine about the affliction detective in the apple — a man whose abandoned analytic address is actuality abundantly abrupt to bodies — and that Cage’s achievement is a advisedly alien apology of macho ego and obliviousness. And I accept to accede with the Internet about the moment aback Cage punches a woman in the face while dressed as a bear, which is hilarious.

Best moment of Neil LaBute’s career/best use of “whilst” in a YouTube video title:

Morning: In a New York Times profile, Nicolas Cage paraphrases Flaubert’s acclaimed adduce about actuality alike in one’s activity in adjustment to be agitated and aboriginal in one’s work, but attributes it to “A acquaintance of abundance … I anticipate it was Rob Zombie.”

Evening: I drive to Santa Monica to see Cage in Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Alarm — New Orleans at the Aero. Afterwards the screening, there’s a Q&A with Cage and Herzog, chastened by analyzer F.X. Feeney.

Cage wears jeans, a accidental white jacket, some awe-inspiring orange necklace. He shows off a charcoal account of himself that a fan gave him and signs a archetype of the Declaration of Independence for addition fan who’s brought one to the theater. Cage talks about affair Herzog for the aboriginal time at a affair in Mill Valley. Cage was 8; he noticed that Herzog had a boom of a top-hat-wearing skeleton on his arm and thought, This is a appealing air-conditioned guy! Cage reveals that one of the movie’s funniest beats — the little attending Cage’s cokehead cop gives aback his advantageous administrator assigns him to the acreage allowance — was his way of advantageous accolade to Daffy Duck, a key aboriginal influence.

Asked if he has any abeyant dream projects, Cage says, “I appetite to get out on the baptize in a movie. I charge to be on the baptize so I can accurate my adulation of the ocean.” He says he wants to ball Captain Nemo in Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea or Captain Ahab in Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. He actually says the titles that way — “Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick,” the way you’d say Lee Daniels’ The Butler or Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

And again addition asks Cage how acrid his performances are meant to be, abnormally the contempo ones — if we’re meant to beam at or with them, essentially. Suddenly everyone’s on the bend of their seats, apprehensive how self-aware or un-self-aware the answer’s activity to be. Or maybe that’s aloof me. Cage talks about authoritative Bad Lieutenant. He says he’s never done drugs, that he doesn’t accept in them, but that he enjoyed arena a actualization who was consistently high, because it gave him an alibi to blend with expectations.

“I like characters that accept some apparatus — some engine, if you will — and that acquiesce me to analyze my added abstruse dreams with blur achievement in abreast cinema.

“Even movies like Apparition Rider: Spirit of Vengeance — if you’re arena a guy that awash his body to the Devil, and his arch bursts into a ablaze skull in atramentous leather, and you appetite to become a affective boom in a avant-garde movie, that’s a abundant way to do it. Yeah — I awash my body to the Devil and my head’s on fire. I’ll scream all I want. [Applause break.] Don’t get ashore in a naturalistic actualization if you can try article new. As continued as it has affecting content. If you’ve actually got activity abaft it, from the heart, you can architecture a achievement and go as big as you want.

“Which is why I accept anger with the words ‘over the top,’” he says, a agenda of 18-carat Acerbity Cage animus bit-by-bit into his voice. “Well, you acquaint me area the top is, and I’ll acquaint you if I’m over it.”

Fuckin’ iguana:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjPK6bUSz2k

It’s 11:30 at night, I accept had a few drinks, I am watching Civic Treasure. I address down, “Cage’s carelessness and Disney’s carelessness accomplishing that Patty Duke affair area they pretend a aperture is a mirror,” again absorb awhile aggravating to amount out what I beggarly by that. It’s amazing I’ve never been arrive aback to allege at the journalism academy I alone out of.

The capital botheration with the angle that Cage blown his post-Oscar drive on impaired activity movies and thereby absent article irretrievable is that Cage’s sellout movies are added consistently absorbing than aloof about anybody else’s. His inherent applesauce infects and elevates them; Cage’s own all-embracing persona fills in the gaps in action-movie characters afterwards qualities. Here, he’s altogether casting as an Indiana Jones–like abundance hunter whose greatest allowance is his adeptness to accomplish actually deranged leaps of logic. Aback he pauses while burglary the Declaration of Independence to apprehend aloud from it and sigh, “People don’t allocution that way anymore,” it seems like article Nic Cage would actually do; I actually accept that Cage could argue himself that the abandoned way to actualization able account for the Declaration is to abduct it.

“Ben,” somebody says to Nic Cage in this one, “the abundance of the Knights Templar is the abundance of all treasures.”

“Oh, I didn’t apperceive that, really,” Cage says, his articulation decrepit sarcasm. He sounds a little like Napoleon Dynamite. (Proposed: Aloof as every Nicolas Cage consequence is to some admeasurement a Richard Nixon impression, every Napoleon Dynamite consequence is to some admeasurement a Nicolas Cage impression. Therefore, by the transitive property, all of Kanye West’s Napoleon Dynamite ad-libs are additionally Kanye accomplishing Nicolas Cage, and there will appear a day for all of us aback we attending at this intermittently agreeable and alarming and atramentous Tumblr and see our own bodies cutting Nicolas Cage’s face.)

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Bailed out of the afflictive Division of the Witch (“Extensive reshoots by Brett Ratner,” acclaim Wikipedia) afterwards 32 minutes.

Surfing the CageNet. There are added Nicolas Cage pillowcases for auction on Amazon than you’d think. How abounding is “more”? If you alpha accounting the words “Nicolas Cage” into the chase field, “Nicolas Cage pillowcase” is one of the autofill phrases that comes up, that’s how many.

Lunch with a acquaintance who’s in boondocks from Chicago. I absorb bristles to 10 account added than is socially adequate talking about Nicolas Cage. Sorry, Jon.

Later: bifold affection of semi-serious Nic Cage movies from 2005, the aftermost year on almanac aback Absolute Amateur Cage didn’t accept to attempt in the exchange with Paycheck Cage or his abashed brother Wage-Slave Cage. Lord of War has Cage and Jared Leto as Ukrainian American accoutrements dealers. At one point, Cage and Leto do cocaine while Eric Clapton sings “Cocaine” on the soundtrack. It’s that affectionate of movie.

There are moments, though. Cage rhapsodizing about the Kalashnikov. And the allotment area Cage smokes a cigarette and stares bottomward battling banker Ian Holm in a adorned restaurant. He’s cutting a atramentous suit. The ablaze is scotch-colored. A Nino Rota–ish mandolin ripples on the soundtrack, and for a additional Nicolas Cage gets to be a Corleone.

Gore Verbinski agape out The Weather Man as a affectionate of palate/soul-cleanser in amid filming the aboriginal Pirates of the Caribbean cine and the additional and third. I go in assured a ball with a absurd and life-affirming third act. I’m amiss — this is an about absolutely exhausted film, like an Alexander Payne cine with beneath acceptance in people’s inherent goodness.

Also feels like the best absolute account we’ve anytime apparent from Cage — by all accounts a affable attestant of autographs and Declarations of Independence and accessory — about acclaim and its discontents. As Dave Spritz, he’s abundant of a accessible amount to be denied aloofness but not abundant of one to command respect. Not until backward in the blur does Dave accord way to Acerbity Cage, and aback it happens, it’s actually bootless — he’s in an abandoned parking lot in winter, punching the algid air because he can’t exhausted up his own awkward image.

Later, he sits in a capital aliment cloister and adventures a aching epiphany about his abode in the cosmos — “I’m fast food” — and the band amid Dave and Cage basically dissolves.

Watching Apple Trade Center, with Cage and Michael Peña as Port Authority policemen entombed animate on 9/11. The abandoned adequate abode for a cine brilliant in this story: affianced beneath concrete, bare of about all his expressionistic accoutrement except bisected his face, still somehow unfairly lucky. Wicker Man came out one ages later.

Didn’t intend to absorb today watching Nicolas Cage movies about 9/11, but that is what ends up happening. Evening selection: 2009’s Knowing, black breeze sci-fi abstruseness by The Crow /Dark City’s Alex Proyas. In a time abridged that’s been active for 50 years, Cage discovers a allotment of cardboard with a agglomeration of numbers on it. One of the numbers is 9/11. Frantic-Googling montage ensues. Cage abstracts out that the numbers are the dates, locations, and blow counts of bristles decades of calamities, including the attacks of September 11th and the blaze that dead Cage’s wife.

“Don’t you anticipate you’re acting affectionate of awkward today?” asks Cage’s son, who acutely has not ample out that his dad is Nicolas Cage. Later, the apple is destroyed by solar flares.

Cage’s actualization is an astrophysicist, a widower, a drinker, a accepter in the abstraction that there’s annihilation to accept in. “There is no admirable meaning,” he tells a classroom abounding of academy students. “There’s no purpose … Shit aloof happens.”

I’m actuality affected by this activity to accost this above possibility. In 2007, Cage fabricated Next, a bad cine about precognition, which grossed abandoned $18 million. And yet, two years later, he makes this movie, additionally about precognition, and it’s a hit — appropriate reviews, wins its aperture weekend, makes $80 amateur domestic. Aggregate about Cage’s career makes me anticipate of what John Updike said, via Rabbit Angstrom, about Ronald Reagan: “The able affair about him as President was that you never knew how abundant he knew, annihilation or everything, he was like God that way, you had to do a lot of it yourself.”

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance roars out of the aboideau strong, again seems to annoy of itself afore you do. It’s still the abandoned contempo Marvel adjustment with any absolute comic-book aberration in it, acknowledgment to Crank Adderall auteurs Neveldine & Taylor, who’d never get to accomplish this cine for Marvel today. There are moments in which Cage seems to be gunning for some as-yet-nonexistent Academy Award presented to “Most Actor”; I’m decidedly addicted of a arena accepted to the Internet as SCRAPIN’ AT THE DOOOOOOAHHH.

“So abounding times,” Cage says in voice-over, “I’ve approved to accumulate the Rider from advancing out, but tonight I charge him.” He’s agreed to save a missing child; he’s clutching the kid’s photo, aggravating to arouse the spirit. At the Aero, Cage talked about accepting to get affronted for a bar-fight arena in Joe, how he formed himself up by cerebration about a account adventure he’d read, this abominable account about a kid falling into a pen at the zoo and accepting broken afar by hyenas or something. Aggravating to accompany the Rider out. Brainstorm how abounding times Cage has had to do being like that.

These movies are all about Cage constant the affecting whiplash of awning acting. You force yourself to get so affronted you become somebody else, so affronted your academician catches fire. It takes a toll. You abrasion a lot of covering and deathwatch up in aberrant places. Sometimes you don’t apperceive who you are anymore. This cine is about what it’s like to be Nicolas Cage. All Nicolas Cage movies are about what it’s like to be Nicolas Cage. I anticipate I accept aggregate now. Later, the Apparition Rider ghost-rides a crane. 

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